Enough with the MILF Thing Already

Beyond Jenna Jameson and Deep Throat, the phenomenon known as the “MILF” is one of the biggest porn industry crossover success stories in the history of mainstream pop culture. However, like any cleverly orchestrated corporate marketing fad, eventually, they wear out their welcome. And it couldn’t come any sooner for the MILF genre in my opinion.

The following comments are by no means a knock at older women or their opportunities to score another porn payday in the twilight of their careers. I applaud anyone who has enough savvy to jump on a bandwagon and milk the hell out of it. I just have a problem with the intrinsic psychology behind the MILF concept and its current overexposure inside the suburbs of America.

The whole “Sex and the City” movie release extravaganza was the final nail in the coffin for me with the whole MILF thing. From miles around, every mother within the entire San Fernando Valley strapped into their best girdles and hit the town for a Hollywood “girls night out” to see this horrendous flick. The local television news stations covered the pandemonium as the ladies, wearing their Friday night best from 1996, anxiously stood in line outside the movie theaters like a cattle call at Harris Ranch. Each one of them referring to themselves as MILFS on live TV as the reporter with the camera strolled by.

I would imagine that the original intent of using an acronym like MILF was to describe a woman in her mid 30’s to late 40’s who was the looker of the neighborhood. A woman who has kept herself in fantastic shape for her age who’s sexiness has transcended the rigors of motherhood, time, and gravity. As a result of this MILF phenomenon going mainstream and the term making a number of cameo mentions on network television shows and in movies, it seems like any manatee with a blown out lasagna gut who’s given birth now considers themselves to be a MILF. The whole concept has become completely overexposed and made to be inclusive of any chick over the age of 29 who’s fertile enough to have a swimmer reach its final destination. More specifically, the entire Mexican population of LA…

Now that we know who killed the MILF, what are the demographics of the porn consumer who made this genre of porn so popular in the first fucking place?

I fully admit to having a few older women crushes in my lifetime. From my 5th grade homeroom teacher to one of the car pool mothers in junior high, my number two pencil was always sharp at a moments notice with every flip of the teachers hair or her leaning her ass up against my desk. But average guys with an older woman crush aren’t the guys who are responsible for driving the success of MILF porn. There is a whole new generation of young males out there from teen hood to late 20’s who were raised in a completely different type of environment than previous generations of men before them. Their mothers gave birth to them in “tranquil pools” with Yanni music playing instead of hospitals. They drank out of sippy cups until the age of 12, and going to a friends house after school was considered a playdate. Sesame Street told them that there’s no such thing as strangers, and Dr. Spock taught their mothers never to say the word “no” in front of them. These guys become so attached to their mothers that they try to replicate this relationship with their future wives, bosses, and in their porn.

The moral of the story is this. My girlfriend has been out of town for 10 days, and I’ve been jerking off so much that my hand smells like a swimming pool filter. If you want to keep on enjoying MILF porn, that’s good news because the industry needs you right now. If anyone reading this post was actually born in a “tranquil pool” or your mother has a photo album containing artistic black and white photos of you breast feeding, don’t get mad at me and shoot the messenger. Just get a membership to one of Mike’s sites and keep shooting loads. Pornography makes the world a safer place.