Not that long ago, sexting was reserved for couples who lived in different cities—or even countries. Enter the pandemic, which separated many couples who live nearby, but are not in the same “bubble,” for great lengths of time and meant they were unable to connect with their partners in the ways they did before.
Rather than reinforce stereotypes about sexting being a last resort for people who have no other alternatives, the pandemic has shown us how much fun sexting can be. If you are looking to spice up your relationships, try the sexting tips below to help you get started.
- Be Creative
Sexting is not a time to be literal—it’s a time to explore fantasies and do things that might otherwise be impossible in person. Even if you know for a fact that if your partner were there with you in person right now, you’d both be having sex, missionary style, and asleep within fifteen minutes, you can do something completely different when you sext. Sexting gives you the opportunity to break up your routine and expand your sexual repertoire, which is an excellent idea for long-term sexual relationships.
Open up about your fantasies and ask your partner to do the same. If you’re not comfortable talking about what turns you on, it’s going to be hard to be ready for a sexting adventure.
The intensity of discussing your fantasies with your partner may be the perfect prelude and a natural segue to sexting.
- Be Yourself
The worst way to start texting is by being someone you’re not. First of all, your partner is likely to notice and not know how to respond. And second of all, it’s going to be hard to maintain a persona for very long. There’s a difference between utilizing role-play and creativity and suddenly becoming someone who is interested in any and all sex acts. Know what your boundaries are before you get started, and don’t hesitate to enforce them.
If you’re having trouble coming up with topics, start by reminiscing about one of your favorite times having sex together. Try to nail down precisely what psychological components made it so hot—which is a good thought exercise to help you understand what kind of fantasies you’re interested in even when you’re not sexting. Was it daring? Was it unexpected? If you can tap into this, you’ll find there are many fantasies beyond the tried-and-true ones that will keep your sexting experiences surprising and enjoyable.
- Use the Strengths of Sexting to Your Advantage
Sexting is a bit like watching a sex scene on a TV show—you are getting high-level ideas and some juicy details, but not every aspect like you would with pornography. This can actually make sex even hotter. When you send photos, you can send your best angles and use lighting to your advantage. Or you can use no-filters and be exactly who you are in person. You get to choose exactly what to include and what to leave out.
- Take Care of the Details
The difference between a great sexting experience and an awkward one is in the details. Make sure you sext during a time that’s convenient for both of you. It can be quite stressful to send your partner a sext and then not hear back for an hour because they had an unexpected work meeting. While planning a time to sext may not be the sexiest advice, sometimes spontaneity is a bad thing.
- Get on the Same Page First
Lastly and most importantly, consent is of the utmost importance. However, for guidance, Arousr is a notable website to check out before the next level. Ask if your partner would be into sexting before engaging, and then ask what kind of interaction they’re interested in. They may like texts without pictures, or they may like everything on the menu. But, you won’t know if you don’t ask.
