One, I’ve already made over the phone.

Two, I can send Lady H up to Dayton to keep you company for a while. You two can play on your crackberries till the proverbial cows come home.

Three, I can get a bottle of Crown about 3 nights a week, and call you at midnight (my personal favorite).

Your choice. GET WELL SOON, Brother … You know we’ll do anything we can to help.

I can also assure you that the likelihood of addiction for taking your pain pills as directed is minimal according to several studies I have read. It seems that for pain patients the pain condition itself keeps you from getting high and addicted (like maybe the pain being relieved prevents the high from forming). I personally have been on Schedule II pain meds (first methadone and now morphine) for many years now legitimately and haven’t had a problem so far with addiction or running out early. My biggest concern actually would be the Tylenol, if you are on a form of Percocet with more than 325mg of Tylenol per pill and taking more than four to six a day (with the 5/325 or 10/325 pills you can actually safely take up to eight a day long-term and twelve a day short-term whereas the 5/500 and 10/500 limits you to five per day long-term and eight a day short-term), Tylenol can fuck up a kidney or a liver with long-term usage in some people. There is a form of oxycodone without Tylenol in it, both immediate release (cheap but you still need to take it six to eight times a day) and extended release (very expensive but only needs to be taken two or three times a day). Morphine is also an option and even the generic ER form is cheap, a 28 day supply at three a day costs my insurance company about $35. Methadone is also cheap but very difficult for a doctor to dose appropriately and more likely to cause problems for those that do not have a high tolerance to opiate medications.

Get well soon, fire the idiot girl that caused this and make more porn once well. Also, keep the wheelchair around — you never know when it will come in handy as a prop in a scene.