@michaelm –
Aww… that’s cute. Thanks for remembering me!
But, seriously, don’t waste your time on not feeling sorry for me.
I’m doing wonderful. Hope you are too!

P.S. – I’m not the begging type. Sorry.

uhhh you sound pretty bitter for someone who used to also comment on deen’s blog and practically beg for his attention. guess you got mad he didn’t give it to you and you eventually got kicked off cause your comments got hostile. I’m not gonna sit here and kiss your ass like all these other commenters cause I saw how you were on his blog, and I don’t feel sorry for you.

Lacey, you’re hilarious!!! 😀

Hahaha… you all have no idea!!!!
If you like “regular people” sex stories, then this is a funny one!!!
So, a few years ago my husband and I go to DisneyWorld with a bunch of friends. We all stayed together in this 2 bedroom suite on Disney property.
One day, we decided to go back to the resort to swim and left everyone else at the park.
So, we get back to the room and decide we’ll have sex and then go swimming… So, we have sex on and/or near a bed. He says he’s about to cum so I get on my knees to suck him off…. he then shoots a load right to the back of my throat at about 90mph. I gag and turn my face away. This leads to the rest of the cum on my ear, while I’m gaging with cum drooling out of my mouth onto the carpet. This is the conversation that happens: (I’ll put me in “quotes.” to make it easier to understand…)
-Oh no, I’m sorry.
-(gaging)
-Are you ok?
-“Yeah. I’m fine.”
-I didn’t mean to get it on your ear…
-“It’s ok. I didn’t want to throw up on your dick.”
-Are you sure that you’re ok?
-“Yeah, I’m fine. But, what are we going to do now?”
-About what?
-“Uhh.. the cum on the carpet?”
-Should we call housekeeping?
-“Oh yeah, there’s an idea! We’ll just let housekeeping know that we were having sex at a resort on Disney property at the happiest place on earth where there’s like 10 billion kids and, oops, we got cum on the carpet! Really?”
-Isn’t it their job to clean carpets?
-“Yes. I’m sure they’re experts at cleaning dirt, vomit, piss and shit, you know, the things KIDS do, but I’m going to guess they’re not all that familiar with the correct procedures for cleaning cum off carpets.”
-Oh shit!
-“What???”
-There’s cum on Mickey’s face.
-“wtf are you even talking about?”
-Look, there are mickey mouse heads all over the carpet. It must be a specialty carpet made for Disney.
-“Wait, does this mean we just gave Mickey a facial?”
-YES!!!!!! (with uncontrollable laughter….)
-“Oh fuck, they’re going to kick us out of here for getting cum on Mickey mouse in the middle of DisneyWorld! (with uncontrollable laughter)
-What if we just rub it into the carpet?
-“Children play on these carpets. I’m sure parents don’t want their children sitting in your fucking sperm! This isn’t Motel 8!!!”
-Well, then what do you want to do?
-“I’ll just put a bunch of sunscreen lotion over the cum and then we’ll call housekeeping?”

So, we called housekeeping. Go swimming. Go back to the room and it was gone.
Now, that’s the kind of shit that doesn’t happen in porn…….
Hahahahaha!

Jilted, so true.

Lacey, everything you said is so true. Plus… Gee, I wonder what male performer, and his fans you might be referring too. 😉

And then there is the good old double anal, which is really just an excuse to rub your dick against another dick.

I always enjoy when commentators on Mike’s site talk about sex with a real person, especially when women say things Lacey’s comment about attempting anal and what she’d do if a guy shoots a load on her face.

I have never intentionally shot a load on a woman’s face. However, there have been those few occasions when the opportunity to have sex presented itself, pregnancy was a legitimate concern and no condoms were available because no one had left the house anticipating sex. So, I pulled out and the laws of physics and dumb luck came into play, landing part of a load on some poor unsuspecting gal’s face. Let’s just say it wasn’t always received as if it was the nectar of the God’s. Many apologies.

I’ve had anal sex with 3 women in my lifetime. First, I’ve never had a messy surprise. But suffice it to say it’s never, ever happened like in the movies. Lots of work, dependent upon mood, lube, angles, positions and attitude at the moment – unlike vaginas, butts seem to have a mind of their own as to whether they’re going to accommodate you or not – and mostly not worth the effort. On those occasions when I actually penetrated more than a few inches, its always been slow and tentative, and yet, one woman I was with told me the next morning that she bled and was not willing to ever do that again. I can’t imagine what porn chicks must feel like after what we see on film.

Now THAT is one of the best explanations I’ve heard…. make sure you don’t mention that to the female teenager fans!

They will freak the fuck out and tell you you’re crazy because all porn is wonderful, sweet, consensual, romantic lovemaking.
-The hand around the neck – cute! What does it refer to? We have no fucking idea? But, it seems kind of dangerous!
-A girl literally crying during a BDSM scene – Aww. She’s just overwhelmed with the 40 orgasms.
-Whispers in the ear – He must be telling her how amazing her vagina feels and proposing marriage. Awww.
-Eye contact – HE’S ACTUALLY LOOKING AT HER while they’re fucking… That is so cute! Who actually makes eye contact with the girl who let you put your penis up her ass? Amazing!

I could just keep going on and on and on…lol.

In this regard, porn is like professional boxing or football. An fighter gets his bell rung or a football player dislocates a shoulder and both say: Keep me in coach, I’ll be fine. And, heck, coaches will say, yeah, let’s do it. And, that’s why you have a doc and a referee who can over-rule and say: stop. You’re risking permanent injury.

There is no referee in porn. There’s only people with an economic stake in sucking it up and continuing the scene. If the actress stops, she’s probably risking her check. The director risks losing a scene and not getting paid. And the actor ….. let’s face it, guys who go into porn are the equivalent of frat boys, gym rats and convicts. You want them making a responsible decision about whether an actress can continue?