Dantes –
I’m perfectly willing to debate you on this, but you’re going to have to speak up without using these ridiculous passive aggressive comments that don’t actually say anything useful….

That’s because that isn’t what’s happening.

It’s really hard to believe that anyone is trying to make the case that there must be something wrong with Lacey because one of her boundaries is that she doesn’t want to have someone spit in her face.

@Dantes –
As someone who actually has a degree in psychology, your posts even confuse me. What the fuck are you even trying to say?

You generally need to “analyze” something before you can “discover” anything…
Or, you need to “think” about something before you can come up with a “conclusion.”

I can’t believe I’m even going to do this, but here you go:
1. Spitting – Germs/Humiliation aspects.
2. Rape – Boundary violations/Pain.
3. Face Punching – Pain/Humiliation.
4. Tied up – Unable to move or protect myself. Trapped.

As you will notice, most of these are kind of/sort of common fucking sense. Are those explanations good enough or should I try to dig deeper for you?

I shouldn’t even reply, because juding from your obscenity-laced reaction and your failure to do so, you’re not an honest opponent who will calmly, fairly, honestly evaluate my claims, but since other people read this I guess I will.

Looking into one’s past to discover the source of one’s emotions about a particular thing is not analysis. It’s discovery. It’s not analysis to say “ah hah! I don’t like this because of this thing from my past.” OF COURSE it’s something in your past. Where else would it come from? A bolt of lightning? Cupid’s arrow? Heck, even if someone has a particular sort of brain deficiency that makes them react one way – instead of the “normal way” – it’s still something in their past that triggered it (ie: caused them to come have a recurring emotion about a particular thing). Discovering what that thing is is helpful, but it doesn’t answer WHY one’s reaction is what it is. Maybe it’s the brain deficiency, maybe it’s an unidentified and long-forgotten conclusion (correct or incorrect), but it is SOMETHING. A person’s father spitting in her face doesn’t AUTOMATICALLY make someone dislike being spit in the face. Unless being spat upon in the face is intrinsically “disgusting” (which it’s not, or else NO ONE would like it), you’re going to have to dig a little deeper than “my dad unintentionally did it to me when he was emotionally abusing me” to know why you don’t like it.

You’re going to have to understand what’s “fucking disgusting” about being spit on in the face to be able to responsibly say that it is. …just as you’d have to do in order to say the same thing about rape, or face punching, or being tied up as a child by one’s parents. It can be done (because, I agree, those things are disgusting, and your childhood conclusion about one of them was the right one, even though you don’t remember what that conclusion was), but to just say “they’re just bad, prima facia”, or “most people wouldn’t like those things” isn’t it.

Good retort Lacey! Dantes needs to quit checking his brain with his coat at the door. Also, Mike South said to tell Dantes to get his brain out of the Institute coat room before it starts to decompose and stink. 🙂

BTW very few people outside of porn like to be spat upon. In fact, most in porn don’t either but for $1000 some women will allow more leeway into what is done to her for a scene. People have the right to carry their own sexual boundaries, in my case (being a man) I only fuck women and do not allow anything to be shoved up or placed near my ass. However, if Marci Hirsch pays me $1 million a year to direct movies for Vivid I might let her lick my asshole as Nick East has said she likes to do (Marci, if Nick is lying about you I apologize — I needed an example to use here). I might even make sure it doesn’t have any shit on it before doing so. However, that is my decision and only my decision to make. Lacey has the same rights I do in regard to sexual boundaries.

Lacey, if you ever meet Dantes in person I suggest a lockable chastity belt to keep him out of your pants (trust me, you don’t want to have him there with the disrespectful comment he made here) and a welding shield over your face so he can’t spit in your face.

I have to admit, I never considered how a purely psychologically analytical blog post would be that hard to fucking understand? I guess I should keep that in mind for future posts… maybe I should just write about the different colors in a crayon box or the correct procedure for opening an umbrella? Maybe that would be simple enough for you to understand?

@Dantes –
Holy fucking shit… I actually read your post like 3 times just to make sure I was reading it correctly?

Let’s clear one fucking thing up: I don’t like people spitting in my face because it’s fucking disgusting and I don’t particularly like spit. As far as sexual boundaries go, I don’t need ONE fucking reason why I don’t like something…
That is why this blog is called an “analysis.” It involves psychologically looking below the surface to “analyze” whether a boundary may be associated with something from your past. It is not an excuse for why you don’t like something… it’s attempting to better understand a psychological reaction.

And, I fucking LOVE this bullshit:
“So, basically, Lacey Blake doesn’t like being spit on because her father abused her and she feels no responsibility to get over it”

Oh, let’s play with the above genius fucking statement for the fun of it:

“So, basically, Lacey Blake doesn’t like being raped because her father raped her and she feels no responsibility to get over it.”

“So, basically, Lacey Blake doesn’t like getting punched in the face because her father punched her in the face and she feels no responsibility to get over it.”

“So, basically, Lacey Blake doesn’t like being tied up during sex because her father continuously tied her up when she was bad to punish her and she now feels no responsibility to get over it.”

Grow the fuck up and go take a few god damn psychology courses, asshole.

I’m not saying that her aversion to being spit on isn’t reasonable, but “I developed negative feelings about it as a child” isn’t a reason.

This is merely the promotion of unabashed emotionalism* masquerading as sincere psychological introspection and self-improvement.

*Many people today believe you must simply “trust your heart.” This means that you should basically follow your emotions blindly; if you deeply and sincerely feel something is true or good, this it is true or good for you. In other words, a person’s feelings are the only evidence he requires to determine if a claim is true or false, right or wrong. This means, for example, that if I believe in astrology, numerology, tarot card reading, or alien landings, the such beliefs are true for me. Similarly, if I feel that drug use, indiscriminate sex, or even violence is right, then such actions are right for me.

@laura,
Asking for a ‘mans perspective’ from someone who admits to spending 15k a year on cam girl porn is pretty funny.