Don Juan DeMarko is NOT a Publicist: God Almighty This is The Worst Porn PR of the Week

This post was originally scheduled to run in April 2024, but we decided that DeMarko was too poorly known and obviously awful at his job for the humor to ‘land’ properly.

However, in light of his recent implosion, we are pleased to share this LOST post! — The Editors

The Worst Porn PR of the Week WTF edition: Don Juan DeMarko

A press announcement, by edict of genre, has a specific form.  This is so editors or “PR flippers” can easily ascertain whether they are interested in running the release, and readily find the necessary information in the expected places.  It’s not literature; it is designed to be the resource for a writer/editor to shape it into a story that reflects the tone or position of the periodical.  The person who selectively edits and rewrites it for publication will set its ultimate tone.

Some terrible publicists, such as Erika Icon of The Rub PR, try and fail to work within this form — for lack of talent, and also because they have never successfully submitted a release to a professional mainstream site or publication.  They simply prey upon members of the community they have attached themselves to, parasite-like, and convince them that this is publicity.

Semi-literate porn fanboy turned “publicist” Jordan Potter a.k.a. Don Juan DeMarko takes another approach.  He is blissfully unaware of the form.  It’s as though he has never read a professional press release, let alone a book.  The ways of English grammar and style are completely alien to him.

Behold, his masterpiece: the fullest expression of his uninformed worldview as fed and filtered through a forced and mechanical writing style.

It is entitled, “Andie Anderson Officially Signs with Foxxx Models” . . . .

 

 

 

 

Let’s set aside, for a moment, the fact that this, whatever the hell it is, reads like a chainsaw went ripping through a dictionary.

First, the headline and body are factually incorrect: the name of this talent agency is Foxxx Modeling, not Foxxx Models. This is easily ascertainable by looking at its website:

Duan Juan DeMarko is not a publicist
Foxxx Modeling

Or Don Juan DeMarko could have just gotten the correct name from his own client’s quote, which he included in his release.

JFC

He submitted this thing to YNOT, and they had to correct the title.  Never a great look to make editors do extra work to overcome your incompetence.

Don Juan DeMarko is a moron
YNOT corrects DeMarko’s headline

Second, there have not been hours, let alone months, of speculation about who would sign this luckless woman to a contract. No disrespect to her, but that’s just not how it works.

Third, the use of alliteration is much like the sound of a tenor saxophone: something that one can quickly grow to despise in the hands of all but a talented few.  Here we have a curvaceous cutie who combines curves and composure.  As Albert Brooks snipes ruthlessly in Broadcast News, “Pretty peppy party, pal!”

Fourth, I dare not speculate what this unknown performer’s “sweet nectar” is supposed to be, but is it truly unlike that of any model in porn?  And if so, how. Explain.

Fifth, a “block quote,” especially one that is formatted as if it were a “pull quote,” does not belong in a press release.  The person who flips the release is the one who highlights text, or pulls a quote, that they think will appeal to their readers.  Read about this here.

Sixth, a “south of the border” analogy fails when talking about someone who is from Texas, which is NORTH of the border.

Ask Texan Gene Autry:

Seventh, and most fatally, DeMarko has included no “boilerplate” section provided at the bottom.

A boilerplate is a brief paragraph at the end of a press release that highlights a brand — a person or company — and its key professional information.  When the subject is a person, there is a mini-biography.  It’s standardized copy, so you will see the same basic paragraph concluding every such press release unless the brand undergoes some considerable change that warrants a new boilerplate.

When professional editor receives a press release, they read the title, then maybe the subhead, and then go directly to the boilerplate to determine whether the reality of this brand lives up to the title.  If no boilerplate is there, they throw away the release.

Don Juan DeMarko is not a publicist.  He is a delusional fanboy strutting around as if he is someone of relevance in the adult industry, and he has not the first clue about how to do the job for which he asks industry members to pay him.

777953cookie-checkDon Juan DeMarko is NOT a Publicist: God Almighty This is The Worst Porn PR of the Week

Don Juan DeMarko is NOT a Publicist: God Almighty This is The Worst Porn PR of the Week

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Mike South

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