In my personal opinion, the best goal, and only goal, a woman should every have to enter porn, is as an ends to a meana. Society will never fully accept it, and I’m not so sure that’s a bad thing. But whom, am I to say I know anything. I’m just a guy who really needs to get back to work…

Holy’s worried about your health and I’m just on here enjoying your blog posts! Isn’t the internet wonderful?

Back to Dr. Drew’s interview in this month’s Playboy, I hope you purchase a copy Kayden and make a blog post about his interview. He really tackles a lot of stuff about porn, celebs and other sex related issues.

I think you’re brave too and really you shouldn’t have to work very hard to outline why you got into porn. It’s your life. I hope I didn’t post anything that made it seem you’re somehow below average as a person. Unless a person knows another person, how can they make such a judgment. Dr. Drew did bring up an excellent point, he said how will all these young women who have these porn websites feel years down the line if they have families or as they age and their lives change, will this stuff being out there (it stays out there forever) affect them?

But when you state that..”learning about the real world…” is one of your motivations for being in the biz, I dont understand. I guess you could take the lessons learned about how this industry is run and apply it to your own future endevors, as long as you realize that you want to apply exactly the opposite buissness models you see in porn.

And their are hundreds if not thousands of OTHER industies that offer opportunities to educated 22 year olds. Thats another of the industry “big repeated lies”…..(where else can a young person make so much money) Believe me, your porn resume is not going to help you one single bit outside of the porn industry, in fact, it may be much more detrimental to your career than you know. Considering there are only about 600 to 900 girls a month making a living in porn, what do you think the multi millions of other young 22 year olds are doing?

Get a five year old coply of AVN. How many of the girls featured in that issue are still making a living in porn? Not many.

Your personal health is the most important issue. Never lose sight of that. Healthy is sexy. And you indeed are sexy.

It’s hard to pin down the emotional effect of certain things sometimes 🙂

Sorry, should have been more keen on the editing.

Second point: A financially independent future. Are you actually getting it? Investing, of course, presupposes wealth creation. Companies only accept investment capital because they expect to use it to create more capital in the future. Since you’re thinking in terms of a modest, conservative, blue chip ROI, that means long into the future. How much wealth do you think that a generation of young men, raised on easy indulgences – with sex, drugs, and rock and roll literally at their finger tips – will be creating 25 – 30 years from now? Unless they’re filming porn, not much more than today. If that. Especially if the Chinese peasantry ever wises up. Have you noticed what kind of pillarlike companies have been going bankrupt lately? I ask that question honestly as well. And I offer my own perspective, which I think is an invaluable one, as food for thought.

I’m 26. I have no money. Because of having abruptly quit all of my previous positions in protest to, and in disgust of, clearly unethical behavior, I have no good references. Worse, I’m dangerously close to not having any ambition any more. “Security” motivated me for awhile after quitting – I lived in a small town in Wyoming, and then Alaska – but I’m not an animal; I need more. I need a grandiose vision of the future. A blonde, busty vision of the future. I want to run a large business someday too, but that is not a rational goal. I don’t say that just because big business, qua big, is a pariah in our society currently, but primarily because size doesn’t matter. Not in tits, not in cocks, not in companies. Not in any truly independent sense of the term. It’s a relative term. So long as you fit with what you’re dealing with, who cares? I want to run a successful business which makes me truly happy. To think otherwise is social metaphysics disguised as D’Anconian, Taggartian virtue. I’m guilty of it too. I admit, I’ve worried that someone might discover – years from now – that you and I had this correspondence. But that’s not rational; so I force myself to comment.

I appreciate and admire your love of money, but I remind that you it’s just a tool. A means to an end. What good is it if you’re surrounded by morons who’s minds have been destroyed and made blind to real values? Even if they have nice jaw lines. I’m asking that question honestly, also.

Last point: Your post is dripping with philosophy, just as I like it. You shouldn’t have to work this hard to please me. I loved a few of your lines in your video “Be Here Now”, but still, you shouldn’t have to work this hard. It’s obvious that you and I agree with a number of concepts, so I won’t depersonalize this exchange by discussing them abstractly. Instead I’ll tell you why I got into porn (viewing).

Do I want you sexually? Yes, of course I do. Would I act upon the opportunity if it presented itself? Probably not. It took me a long time to say that. In the past, even though I held the desire, I would have dismissed the question as invalid. I would have said something like “I’m not masculine enough” or “I’m too skinny.” There were even times when I would have even said something like “porn is immoral” or “She wouldn’t do it even if she wanted to, because she’s really a weak, scared person.” But I realized, recently, that those excuses are simply variations on a common theme. A common theme which is the actual reason why I wouldn’t do it. They are the result of why I wouldn’t do it. The reason why I am lacking the 10 or 15 pounds worth of muscle which could get me laid every night, the reason why I’m unable to laugh at something like a Youtube video of kids shooting joggers with a paintball gun just like “one of the guys”, the reason why I seriously investigated the (unproven) psychological hypotheses that sexually open women are weak are all because I actually crave something more. Something which I’m still not sure is possible. It’s the something which leads me to fixate on you – out of all the naked women on the internet – despite the fact that, increasingly, you’re showing yourself not be the “Objectivist fantasy woman” I mentioned.

The fact is that while I could have been working out like a maniac, while I could have been conditioning myself to laugh at whatever intellectual default was on the table, while I could have enjoyed all of the pussy which resulted, I didn’t. Instead, I sat around by myself and, in between jerking off or having sex with a couple of marginally attractive, periodically inspiring women, I studied philosophy. I searched for fundamental truth and to a great extent I have found it; and at times – in jail cells – it has brought me great joy. Despite the very dire social, professional, financial, and legal circumstances I have found myself in throughout the last three years.

So no, I wouldn’t have sex with you if you actually offered. Even though it’s raining as I write this, I’m sure there are hundreds of attractive women converging upon dozens of bars just a few miles from me. I’m sure that despite my own fleeting insecurities about my appearance or my habituated honesty, I could down a few beers and use the same charm I’ve used here to at least have a conversation with one of them. I’m sure I could because I have; plenty of times.

I thank you for the learning experience this has given me, and which I think I’ve been seeking out for a long time from a woman in your industry, and as much as I don’t want to let your attention go by insulting you, I have. I have reduced your livlihood to it’s essentials, which your counterparts invoke when they must, on my own and in doing so I have pulled the rug out from under you. I know it is a delusion. I know it is a fantasy. I know it will never happen, not because of my weakness, but because of my strength. Because of my undying ambition – despite my miserable poverty. Now what do you have to offer me?

I’m sorry for my hostility. You’re a sweetheart. I just don’t hide anything.

– Grant

P.S.: I have a question. Why, in this sentence, did you put the word “wrong” in quotes? “I got into porn because for some reason I just don’t understand what is “wrong” with porn outside of social constructs.” Your meaning – that right and wrong are not socially defined – was just as clear without them.

The reason why Kayden isn’t a visible spokesperson for the industry is because she’s not that famous outside of porn yet. I go to more celebrity sites than porn sites because they have the most porn star pictures. And Kayden to my knowledge has never been mentioned. Hire whoever represents Mary, Tera, and Jenna. Or date a celebrity. Hang out at The Ivy and wear something revealing. Got to all the top clubs in Los Angeles and Vegas. How can you be a spokesperson for the industry if no one outside of porn & porn fans knows who you are?

And if you ever end up on O’Reilly, please get your facts straight or don’t even say anything at all about numbers or else they will eat you alive. When a small group of people as in the porn industry which equals a few tens of thousands of people gets so many STDs and so many drugs addicts and suicides every year and overdoses, that surpasses any number you come up with on a nation wide level percentage wise.

Why is it that when this industry has girls like Kayden, we continue to push the real fuckups into the public eye. Why aren’t girls like Kayden the spokespersons for this industry instead of idiots who will remain unmentioned here?

Why doesn’t someone package a few girls like Kayden to go cross country and present themselves as spokespersons for our industry? Why do we even allow the junkies and the obvious basket cases in to begin with? They do us way more harm than good. What if someone had said to Shelly Lubben or countless others…I’m sorry I’m not going to shoot you, you have mental problems/drug problems that this biz is just going to make worse and then you are going to turn around and say it’s all because of porn, even though you were self destructing way before you got to this biz.

Are we that hard up to make a buck off of a junkie?

I guess it just doesn’t make good copy.