We hard-working scribes at MikeSouth.com thought it might be fun to spotlight our pick for the Worst Porn Press Release of the Week. So we got together to put our unique spin on the “Week in Review”.
Sure, these media alert monstrosities can be quite amusing, but this feature is not provided for its entertainment value alone, dear readers . . . it represents a service to the adult industry clients who are assuredly NOT getting their money’s worth when they pay for publicity services.
Worst Porn PR of the Week Erika Icon
We start off strong this week with a powerful example of what NOT to do, courtesy of Erika Icon of The Rub PR.
Erika is one of the most notorious bullies in the adult biz. Few can stand her except for Sandra McCarthy at OC Modeling. People in porn valley like to say that Erika called her company ‘The Rub’ because she rubs people the wrong way. It’s a good theory. After all, this is a woman who shit-talks her own former clients via blog posts. Way to stay classy, Erika!
In any event, this week’s winner by a landslide is Erika’s press release for the lovely Sarah Vandella.
Below we have reproduced the first three paragraphs of the release. No alterations have been made whatsoever; this is exactly how semi-literate Erika “Buffet Killer” Icon’s press release went out to media.
Award-winning blondebombshell MILF Sarah Vandella is the current Ms. Throated and she back on Throated with a new scene and a whole new challenge.
I checked dictionary.com and even my leather-bound edition of Dr. Johnson’s lexicon, but was unable to locate a listing for the word ‘blondebombshell’. The lack of a dialectal present tense third-person singular of the word ‘be’ between “she” and “back” is also problematic. I am forced to conclude that there exists not one but TWO typographical errors in the first sentence. THE FIRST SENTENCE.
Icon’s repeated use of the conjunction “and” is reminiscent of Ernest Hemingway . . . right before he put that long-barreled W. & C. Scott shotgun in his mouth, that is.
“In the late summer of that year we lived in a house in a village that looked across the river and the plain to the mountains. In the bed of the river there were pebbles and boulders, dry and white in the sun, and the water was clear and swiftly moving and blue in the channels.” ~ Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell To Arms
Evidently Erika hates commas and semicolons as much as she loves cupcakes.
Moving on…
Icon’s press release continues:
In 2016, Sarah beat out some serious competitors to win the crown and the title of Ms. Throated. She’s the reigning champ, and this is her first return to the iconic site…and her newest scene is going to blow your mind!
Again with the ‘and’s. Plus, honestly, is there a more overused cliche than “blow your mind”?
“Busty and Blonde” opens with Sarah in all black, bra, panties, and fishnets along with some killer orange stilettos. She describes what it takes to give a killer BJ and some of her patented techniques. Sarah has been further honing her skills—once she gets going, she takes off her heels and goes at it balls to the wall. John Strong is getting the BJ of his life and will be cumming like he never has before.
Some poor writer at AVN had to flip this PR, fix the typos, and translate Icon’s garbled prose into English.
Here’s how it looked after a wordsmith fluent in English rewrote it:
It’s still not Shakespeare, but through no fault of AVN‘s staff; one can polish a turd only so much. Notice they dropped the “blow your mind” nonsense and added appropriate punctuation.
I think it’s important to point out that the recipients of press releases come to dread emails from certain publicists because it’s such a headache to edit and re-work their stuff. No one should have to work THIS hard, and it’s the kind of situation that ends up hurting the client.
I mean, seriously, can you believe that Ms. Vandella actually had to pay for this abomination?
Well . . . we hope you enjoyed our inaugural Worst PR of the Week feature. See you next week when we return with another compelling example of what NOT to do when you submit a press release to media!
7 Responses
I just finished reading this post, which itself triggered memories of all the semi literate letters and articles I had to edit over the years I published THE S&M NEWS and the dozens of fetish magazines we produced such as SPANKS-A-LOT and FOOTPRINTS. I couldn’t get too worked up over the poor editors at AVN having to clean up the sloppy releases they get, probably much more commonly then you imply by singling out this one PR firm, because that is what they are paid to do. However I do feel for the poor clients who are being represented by such a firm and paying for the “honor” of being made to seem semi-literate.
Which made my reading the first line of your next Mike South e-mail all the more interesting.
“A Canadian monk beloved among locals in the Mae Hong Son are of northern Thailand”
Obviously are was a typo meant to be area. But it did just bring home the fact that editors can fall asleep at the switch too. I was tempted to ask for a refund as the client of that PR firm deserved and should have demanded until I remembered I don’t pay for my subscription so I will shut up and keep reading them and be happy for the information they provide about a business I still love. Hopefully that PR firm will hire a copy editor for themselves soon.
I keep telling Sam that he types too damn fast. Thanks for spotting his typo.
Mea culpa, as we used to say in church without really knowing what it meant. Mea maxima culpa.
I don’t have anything against Erika Icon but I hope these press release typos were a result of her typing late at night and being drunk or high and not a daily occurrence. I have been guilty of some typos in my time (haven’t we all) but the press release featured here was poorly written and should not have been sent out without at minimum being edited for misspellings. There is a reason those red squiggly lines appear on word processor documents, they (usually) signify a misspelling.
All I can say is, tune in next week!
You mean there is more, Porn Reporter? I guess I have to wait for the next Worst Porn PR of the Week article.