Part 1: The reason why I am unmarried at the age of 37

For those keeping score at home, my multi-month relationship with my stripper girlfriend has come to an end. Not because of anything I did wrong. Because of something she encouraged me to do.

There’s a very flirty 19 year old dancer who works at the club. I saw her occasionally on Saturday nights when I would stop by to watch my girlfriend do her choreographed arena light show spread eagle tribute to Duran Duran. This 19 year old woman is extremely beautiful. So beautiful and long-legged that she could easily be prancing down the catwalks of Milan instead of the nude catwalk of Silicon Valley.

After 5 minutes of talking to her the first night we were formally introduced, she literally shoved two fingers down her bikini bottom and then thrust them under my nose insisting that I smell them. I started laughing because it was just so fucking funny. I didn’t think she smelled weird or anything. More like a “nectar of the gods” sweet scent of ripe cherries kind of smell. It turns out that she had an extreme fascination with the smell of her own vagina after she performed on the pole. To the extent of walking around the back dressing room of the club smelling her own fingers over and over every 30 seconds or so.

I’ll be brutally honest. I couldn’t stop thinking about this gorgeous girl and her sniffing fetish hours after I left the club. My girlfriend and I laughed about it for the rest of the weekend, but at the same time it was a huge turn on for the both of us thinking about this young beautiful woman shoving her own hand in her vagina and getting off on the smell.

I returned to the club the next weekend. My girlfriend was already there before I got there and had told her how turned on I got from the whole sniffing thing. As soon as I walked through the back dressing room door, she immediately jiggle hopped over to me laughing with her right hand down her pants and then proceeded to stick her two fingers under my nose while giving me a hug and purring in my ear. From that point on, the innocence and quirkiness of the playfulness became replaced by my desire to bring this girl home so my girlfriend and I could have sex with her. I hadn’t been in a multiple partner sex situation since I left LA last year to spend some time back home here in the Bay Area to take a break. I had also never previously discussed with my girlfriend the opportunity of me having sex with another girl while we were together. Apparently, I didn’t even have to discuss it with her because our mutual eye contact communicated the same thing loud and clear. She wanted to have sex with her as well.

So all three of us went back to my girlfriends place later that night and had sex. Even for a somewhat jaded guy like me, I have to admit the sex was pretty incredible. Part of that “incredible” was watching my girlfriend be so into it and encouraging me to do the same. My girlfriend had been with a few other dancers prior to knowing me and never expressed any kind of reservation whatsoever during this entire night. All three of us even went out to breakfast together the next morning.

I received a crying phone call later that evening from my girlfriend telling me that she couldn’t see me anymore because she couldn’t get the visual out of her head of me having sex with that other girl. I was pretty surprised hearing this because, after all, she technically works in “adult entertainment”, and sex with other people is PRETTY MUCH the norm. Feeling more than bewildered, I hung up the phone and that was that. I live by the rule of structuring my life to avoid as much confrontation and dysfunction as I possibly can, so the opportunity to leave a relationship without arguing is like hitting the lotto for a guy like me. Just when I thought I couldn’t understand women more than I already do, I visited an old agent friend of mine in Las Vegas last Thursday (part 2).