Arianna Huffington

I’ve held my tongue for a long time about this chick because she thrives on attention, and I didn’t want to be a party to the menopausal orgasm that takes place every time a Google alert for her name gets shot into her inbox, just like the gay loads that were shot into her ex-husbands ass throughout the time they were “married” to each other.

I’ve witnessed bullshitters throughout my career, but Arianna Huffington has to be one of the top ten hall of fame bullshitters of all time. I feel it necessary to write about her today because, frankly, no one else is taking the time to remind you how this bitch came onto the scene in the first place.

I remember watching the cable news channels during the 1990’s and seeing this annoying woman with an even more annoying greek accent promote republican politics and try to categorize herself along the likes of Ann Coulter as being some type of female conservative figurehead. I never bought her bullshit. She never had the talent or the saavy to run with the big dogs. During this time her “husband” Michael Huffington, an elected California republican politician, was running against Dianne Feinstein for senate. It eventually came out at some point that Michael Huffington was a closeted gay guy and that his wife Arianna was very aware. So for those keeping score at home, do you understand the sociopathic level of bullshit I’m getting at here? Good. I will continue.

Soon after the outing of her sham marriage was revealed, it seemed that Arianna’s politics suddenly took a sharp turn to the left overnight. Now, a persons politics are their own business, but to go on TV for years and shout from one side and then suddenly shout from the other side, that is the sign of a real asshole. Just like the ones her “husband” used to invade with his member.

From there, Arianna began telling everyone that she was going to start a website for celebrity bloggers and how David Geffen was going to be blogging there and all this horseshit. The David Geffen thing never happened… Every good bullshitter knows that in order to convince people of your bullshit, you first need to sell them on the fact that other famous bullshitters are part of your bullshit as well. And that’s exactly what she did. The launch of “The Huffington Post” website was a big letdown due to all the promised “famous bloggers” who never showed up. But eventually, as other lefties began seeking out a preach to the choir spot on the web, The Huffington Post began to serve its purpose amongst those who want to follow a specific ideology.

I read a news report a while back that Arianna was seeking funding to keep her website going. I am always wary of companies who are perpetually seeking funding based on my own fundamental common sense ideal that businesses should be in the business of actually MAKING money. I’m sure some of you might find my old school business logic a bit old fashioned, but I don’t remember ever hearing that my favorite fast food Japanese restaurant was out on Wall Street “seeking funding”. They actually make a product that thousands of local people enjoying consuming. THAT’S how a business makes money. Not looking for investors and never turning a profit.

The moral of the story is this: Bullshitting is a fine art that can get you access to places that would have normally closed the door on you. However, the rewards of bullshitting don’t last forever. You can only sit and spin your bullshit for so long before your bullshit simply gets old. Arianna Huffington always reminded me of one of those typical foreign wannabe intellectuals who make their way to LA and hang out at various Barnes and Noble bookstores trying to convince people that they hold the key to the next best thing. They are always a decade behind the times and two inches away from your face when they try to start a conversation with you.