“Lord, I was born a Ramblin’ Man…”

[I could be wrong, but I don’t think the Allman Brothers were singing about “rambling” in the sense of writing without having a particular subject in mind. No matter. I considered using a quote from Bob Seger’s “Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Man” as a headline instead but, as my gambling experience is limited to a few pulls on quarter slot machines at Main Street Station in downtown Vegas during several years of AVN expos, it just didn’t seem fitting. Yes, Mike South was also there, but he didn’t drink or gamble like the rest of us — he was too busy eating the Ahi Tuna at the Grand Lux Cafe http://www.grandluxcafe.com/aboutus.htm].

But enough about Vegas. Let me tell you about a few things I’ve had on my mind here lately.

 #1. Kayden Kross. Cool as hell. Classy, professional, intelligent, and a credit to the adult industry. She’s definitely someone to keep an eye on. Maybe even both eyes. She even single-handedly saved the Ohio strip club industry last week. What’s not to love about the girl?

#2. After 14 years of shacking up in various locations, the beautiful Felicia Fox has agreed to take my hand and join me in wedded bliss. The ceremony will take place in Dayton, Ohio on September 14th. Mike South will be my best man, Lisa Sparxxx is in the wedding party, Dirty Bob is taking the photos, and a number of porn-oriented people have announced their intentions to be at the wedding. In addition to those XXX-type folk, the guest list is filled with a host of people from all walks of life — her family, my family, bikers, strippers, DJs, bouncers, prostitutes, clowns, Canadians, cops, rednecks, homosexuals, karaoke singers, hillbillies. Harry Weiss may even show up. Yes, we’re going to be having karaoke at the reception, though I’m not sure if it’ll be topless or not…that probably depends on whether or not the grandparents have gone home. It promises to be quite an evening. I’ll let you know if any of us survive.  

#3. Kiki D’aire. What a great gal. I love her, and you should, too. Fall down on your knees now and worship her like the goddess she is.

#4. Thomas M. Disch. A great writer. I’ve been reading some of his work this week — I’ve been a fan of his for many years, and I was shocked and saddened to hear that he shot himself in his New York City apartment this past July 4th. 

#5. Stripper Quote of the Week: “But I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Camille, former Flamingo dancer, after being arrested by Dayton Police for possession of 104 grams of crack cocaine. The contraband was hidden inside her vagina.