I have two topics I want to speak to you about today, both, however, relate back to labels and fear.
An article written a few years ago has been making the rounds again. The article entitled, “No, I Don’t Have To Tell You I’m Trans Before Dating You,” has understandably gotten a lot of attention.
In 2014 a transsexual named Jennifer Laude was murdered by a U.S. Marine when he found that Jennifer was in fact a biological man. Something that Jennifer neglected to tell the Marine before initiating sexual relations.
Some people consider it deceptive or even fraud on the part of the transsexual and in almost every state except California, there is a legitimate defense to attacking or even killing a transsexual, by claiming you were “tricked”. More than that, a person who lies about their gender can even go to jail for fraud.
In 2017 a woman was given an 8-year jail sentence for pretending to be a man so that she could have sex with her friend.
Gayle Newland, 25, posed as a half-Filipino man named Kye Fortune, disguising her appearance and voice over the course of her two-year relationship with the victim, also a 25-year-old woman who cannot be named for legal reasons. The victim had agreed to wear a blindfold during roughly a dozen sexual encounters with “Kye,” who said he was ashamed of his looks after undergoing brain surgery.
The victim told the court that “something just didn’t feel right” during their final encounter, so she pulled her blindfold off and saw Newland wearing a prosthetic penis. “I just couldn’t believe it,” she said during a hearing in September, when Newland was convicted on sexual-assault charges.
The question I have for you if someone tricks you into having sex with them based on a lie, is it fraud or is there some sort of justification for it?
Or is there more to the story? Is it even considered tricking someone in the first place?
Do labels even matter? Does a person owe you an explanation for who they are or who they feel that they are?
When researching this article I kept running into the use of the phrase “cis male” or “cis person”. This to me was fascinating. I started talking to people on both sides trying to find out why the gay community began using the label.
Have you ever noticed that a person gets offended if they are labeled a “homo”? Obviously, many consider the term derogatory or offensive so by calling someone a homo, well … obviously, that would be inappropriate.
A person prefers we use a label they dictate, even if technically the label may be scientifically accurate.
Just as a transgendered often doesn’t like being called a “tranny”.
But ironically those same people insist on calling straight people or heterosexual people ‘cisgender’ — this is despite the fact that many cisgendered males have made it clear they are not fans of the use of the word cis.
Yet when a straight male says don’t call me cisgender, I often found the person using said term will launch into a long explanation of where the word originated from and how it’s the proper use.
A transgender (biological male) will demand you call him a her, because that is her preferred pronoun. But they’ll argue just as passionately that they can call a straight man anything they want, such as cisgendered.
I actually spoke with one person who said if you don’t call her a “her”, it’s transphobic oppression.
Yet that same person insists on calling straight people cisgender, even if that person asks you not to, or tells you that they don’t like the label.
What’s the difference?
You know that straight people don’t like the term, so why do you insist on using it, while at the same time, insist they use the label you want?
And now let’s go back to the original topic … dating.
Does someone need to tell you if they are a transexual?
Do you feel that a transexual is obligated to come out before initiating sexual relations with someone else?
Do you feel like a person has the right to demand you call him or her something specific while at the same time, forcing their own labels on others?
Can these subjects even be discussed without being called homophobic?
Let’s see if we can have a mature, open and honest discussion on these topics in the comments down below.
5 Responses
I think people must be completely honest about their gender and sexual history with a potential sexual partner, period! That also applies to any VDs the person may have now or recently had (with HIV/AIDS they must always tell before initiating sexual activity and if they do not the punishment should be the death penalty, with lesser VDs the penalty should be some sort of misdemeanor charge).
Not telling a partner you are transgender is a good way to get tossed a beating. Not everyone is understanding.
A trans woman who is not telling their partner they have a penis or that they are post op , is not doing it for some “ we are equal sjw cause “. They are wanting affection from that person and are holding it back . Either that or they just want to deceive people .
Teams women are equal but your partner has the right to chose if they want to have sex with you .
I have dates trans women before and I am pretty sure the only ones who don’t tell their partners have an agenda or something. It’s not because they feel it is right
Pardon the auto corrects on my phone 🙂
I feel horrible that transgendered people have that issue. Whether it is a mental illness (IMO the most likely answer), some form of chromosomal defect or some other issue (medical scientists just don’t know) they were dealt a bad lot in life and I feel for them. However, I have to be honest about my bipolar disorder to women that I date, at least before fucking them. So do transgendered people about their mental illness. This is a moral imperative.
Regarding transgendered people, I hope we as a society can find something to help them assimilate into society other than having their dicks and balls cut off or their cunts filleted. That sounds barbaric, for most mental illnesses we have medications that (most of the time) greatly help, I hope some sort of medication comes up that can help transgendered people as well. Hell, even electroshock therapy (which is not the same as what we had in the 60’s, a person is now put under for the procedure and the main problem now is memory loss and loss of coordination, not pain and actually feeling the electrical shock) is more humane than cutting on their genitals, I wouldn’t wish either on them but getting my dick cut off sounds like the ultimate in painful torture, not a reasonable treatment for mental illness!!!!!!!!!! I think even the most liberal people have to agree that cutting on genitals is a horrible way to deal with those that were “born the wrong gender”. Certainly they should not be discriminated against as long as they can do the job or function in society appropriately, including being honest to their sexual partners about their mental illness. Just because a man dresses in drag doesn’t mean he cannot do most jobs.