The Industry I Remember

I did not suffer as a drug addict, an alcoholic, or as a traumatized woman in the adult industry. I didn’t lie to anyone because I had nothing to hide. My experience was just a series of scheduled work dates and what was really a fairly rigid routine within the loose world of the Los Angeles sex industry.

I am a responsible person, and so when I took work from a person or a company, I asked all the questions I needed to ask: “Who am I working with?” “What does the scene require?” “Yeah, but what does the scene require, as in, are you telling me everything because if you spring anything on me last minute that I’m not okay with, I’ll leave.” “What kind of clothes do you want me to bring?” “When do I get paid?” “Do I need to do my own makeup?” And so on and so forth. The production manager usually had all that information at the ready, but I had a list in my head acquired over years of learning that, in order to be an intelligent businesswoman in the industry, one had to know all the angles. Once you got all the angles down you eliminated the element of surprise that directors were so willing to throw at you last minute. People do it in every industry. Some people just live for negotiations and pushing your buttons just to see how you’ll react. But if you keep your temper even and maintain your intelligence, no one can get the better of you. And in the worst situations, with a compassionate air, the best answer you can give is, “Because I don’t wan to, and if that’s not enough, I definitely don’t need to be here.”

I didn’t do drugs or drink or smoke pot before scenes. I didn’t even have a prescription for medication. Every year I bought an At A Glance Daily Planner for the year, and carried it with me everywhere. I wrote all of my dates into it, kept strict check of every testing cycle and updated my wardrobe as often as didn’t seem obsessive. I did not exercise a lot, but I did watch what I ate. I tanned and lightened my hair, but I never wanted to completely destroy my hair by over dying it, so I found a nice balance in streaking it with lemon-based Sun-In. Easy maintenance. Spray on while hair is wet and lay out in the sun or blow dry. I didn’t have my nails done because I’m too much of a tomboy for that. My Dad was a cop from Texas, so I thought about it all it the simplest way. “If it keeps me from running from a dangerous situation, effectively using a weapon or changing a tire, I don’t need it.” It was very hard for me to get used to heels and dresses, but when I didn’t need that garb for work or appearances, you bet your ass you didn’t see me in anything but jeans and tennis shoes. Then again, I learned that dressing like that was its own arsenal. When you walk with confidence and look people in the eye, especially when you look good, it’s disarming and a perosn is less likely to be overly confident in dealing with you.

I got breast implants, for myself, and I got them enhanced to a reasonable size because I didn’t want them to keep me from doing sporty things. I would have done it even if I hadn’t gotten into the sex industry. Nice boobs are nice boobs. Even other women can appreciate that.

I tried to go to bed early before a work day, wake up and leave an hour earlier than necessary to allot for unexpected traffic problems, etc… and no matter what, was always way too early, but I never let that keep me from showing up a half hour to an hour early to every shoot. In my six years as a performer I was late on two occasions. And that’s just camera work. I was never late as a featured performer on the dance circuit.

My experiences as a porn star were very responsible because I took my job very seriously. I didn’t depend on anyone handing me feminine products before a scene. I brought my own feminine hygiene necessities and condoms in various sizes and even drinking straws to use so I wasn’t constantly messing up my lipstick. I always drove myself to work and brought books for reading during the down time, music to listen to, crossword puzzle books and even a travel size chess set on the rare occasion that someone actually wanted to play. I learned to take down time as an opportunity to rest even when friends were hanging about and cutting up and making jokes. I learned to make friends with the crew guys because they’re the coolest most down-to-earth people on a set and they’ll root for you when you really need encouragement. I made a lot of friends that I will always cherish because they were real with me. Tony Crane, Jane Hamilton, Bud Lee, Chris Cannon, Chloe, Brittany Andrews, Stacy Valentine, Jimmy D., Rob Spallone, Herschal Savage, Eric Walter, Russ and Betty Hampshire, everyone at VCA, and now Mike South and so many behind-the-scenes people I can’t name. I always remembered to show courtesy to my scene partner and make sure he was comfortable and happy, because caring made me happy.

Being an adult is not too hard. I can, though, finally see why some old folks get snappy and stop giving a shit about what they say. I began my life reserved and courteous. I continued that trend until I realized most people don’t care. I still care, but I’m starting to care less and less about what people who don’t care think. There’s little time and you don’t get it back, so fight fiercely for the people you love, live with your conscience, and cherish your best memories, because those are the riches you take with you.

Happy Freedom Day Mike South Readers! Happy 4th of July and Happy Sex Industry! Treat each other well. Like Jimmy Durante said, “Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.”

HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!!!