In The News…

I was pleasantly surprised by the Associated Press article this week, and John Rogers’ polite take on witnessing Porn Star Karaoke firsthand. Mike posted it below. I used to go monthly back when it started in 2003. It was nice to get out and be normal in a “safe” environment. I went out from time-to-time with girlfriends to clubs, but Sardo’s was like the porn “Cheers”. There were always familiar and friendly faces, no worries about being harassed, just a guaranteed laid back evening with friends.

Okay, funny story about Seymour and me. Well, not that funny really, but I had some wild and drunken times there and I mentioned before that I would tell this story, so here goes…

I had this usual routine when I went to Sardo’s. I showed up, went straight to the bar and ordered two Lemon Drops and a Corona. I hit both the vodka shots right away and then walked around with my beer. I don’t like waiting for a drink or a buzz, so I tried to close the gap on my sobriety as quickly as possible without falling on my face within the first hour. Once my buzz hit, I picked a song – usually a punk rock song because I don’t sing so well when I’m drunk.

Seymour got to know me, and he finally approached me one night and told me I was not going to drive home if I got drunk. He said it warmly and I took it that way (I was still sober when he said it), and I assured him that that was my intention, as well. Right.

I got trashed and sang and did the usual thing and finally went to leave. Seymour came running after me into the cool night air. “Julie! You’re not driving!” I kept walking. “Julie!” He was next to me. I turned and said, “No. I’m not driving. I’m not driving, but I gotta get something out of my car.” I’m probably not the first person to think of this trick, but when it hit me, I felt like a genius! I was an idiot, but in my drunk state I felt so very brilliant. So, I unlocked the car and slipped in sideways like I was just going to get something, then pulled myself in real fast and slammed the door, locked it and peeled out, leaving Seymour with his arms raised hopelessly in the air above his head in my rear view mirror as I cackled wildly and blasted my radio. In my mind I remember yelling out the open window, “I’m sorry Seymour. I LOVE YOU!!!” but that’s probably just because it’s funny to me. The next time I saw Seymour he didn’t scold me, he just gave me a half-cocked look with a bit of a grin and said, just as politely as the first time, but with a deeper register, “Julie…” He didn’t have to finish. I felt like the biggest jerk for pulling that stunt, though I still laugh thinking about it, and what I said, I meant. “If I get too drunk, I’m not driving home.” I hugged him and thanked him and left that night… mostly sober. Sober enough to drive, for sure.

I had a lot of good times at Sardo’s. I once killed a girlfriend of mine by trying to insert the word ‘fucking’ into every phrase of “Total Eclipse of the Heart”. Our favorite scene in Old School was the one where the wedding singer inserted it into the song twice, and comically enough, I got the same reception he did – a lot of confused stares. I’ll never forget it, I was singing one minute, then laughing so hard I couldn’t finish the next because all I could see was a wall of stone faces and then her silhouette gyrating uncontrollably from laughter by the bar. Priceless!

I met Mandy Lion there, who is a Los Angeles staple on the music scene. He looks like Satan. You can’t miss him, so if you see him around, please tell him I said, “Hi.” I had many a riotous night with Mandy at PSK. Once I got so trashed and evil, because that happens, that I decided on whim to just destroy the table next to us. I don’t know what happened, I just needed to see the table turned over, so I turned it over. A bouncer came up, threw me a cross look and set it back up again. As soon as he walked away, I upended it.

I met a man there once who worked for NBC and after a little bit of conversation he looks at me, very serious, and he says, “I can get you on Fear Factor.” He said it like he was proud of himself. I said, “So, I’m supposed to be turned on and impressed that you can get me onto a show where I’ll most likely eat a moose testicle and/or have insects crawling all over my face? Are you serious?” He had to laugh at that. I had a point.

I even took Doug there a few times. In fact, the last time we went, back in 2005, we were sitting at a table with Joel Lawrence and this female that was with him ended up in my lap, as I was sitting in Doug’s lap, and proceeded to grind her female parts onto his knee while she wiggled against me. Doug was a little bewildered by the situation. Happy, I’m sure, but bewildered.

I suppose I could have gone back to Sardo’s this Tuesday night, what with the anticipation of news people being there and all, but I have grown away from the club because I am so far from being a performer. The brazen lass with wild blonde hair and a cigarette dangling dangerously out of her mouth is now a meek, non-smoker who just quit drinking and is either writing or tormenting friends, husband and kitty with a pocket-sized HD camera. I am not as in touch with the people as I used to be, but it didn’t stop me from singing two songs and having a great time when I went this last time. Roy Karch was there, Nick East, Tod Hunter, Stephanie Swift (she’s a funny drunk!), Nicki Hunter and, of course… Seymour. What a sweetie. Three long years have passed since I’ve been. I won’t wait so long next time. 🙂 I love you, Seymour! Mwah!!

– Julie Meadows